Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Can you have a "Gentleman's Agreement" with a woman partner?

I'm fortunate to have quite a few partners in all of my business ventures who have trusted me enough to work for equity on a handshake alone. These "Gentleman's Agreements" are usually a result of getting to know someone, getting a good feeling right away, or a willingness to take a chance in the short-run to evaluate a relationship before signing on. I liken the last one to dating before marriage. And in each case the deal is struck between people who are attaching their very reputation to fulfilling their end of the agreement.

But, what if, as is the case for me, what if many of your partners are women? Is the agreement still referred to as a gentleman's agreement? I can see two women reaching an agreement as "Ladies" in a Ladies Agreement", fair enough. But what if one of the is a guy and the other a gal?

I reached out to my oldest daughter who works for the Democratic party. She was first shocked that Libertarian-leaning dad would consider this question and second at a loss for what gender-neutral word to substitute for Gentleman. In the end she suggested a "Professional Agreement". Good stop-gap in my mind, but to me, "professional" lacks the power of "gentleman".  The terms Gentleman and Lady, after all, refer not only to how someone conducts their business, easily separated from the whole person, but refers to the core, the essence of who that person is. Breaking a gentleman's agreement isn;t just indicating you;re a bad person to business with, but a bad person overall.

Problem is that the two terms exist as two gender specific roles were universally recognized at the time the term was coined. Proper adherence earned the term Lady or Gentleman and since Ladies rarely conducted business, Gentleman's agreement was  a no-brainer. And let's be honest, there are still roles apparent and equally enforced by either side of the gender formula with a few extra added in recent years. So, separate terms might still be useful in today's society.

As it stands now, I'm leaning towards "Gentleperson's Agreement". A gentleperson would seem to cover all the bases. It just lacks that age-old feeling of time-tested honor. Spell check appears to be just as torn as it shows "Gentleperson" a misspelling of "Gentle Person".  Or is it the duty of the current three generations of business people to propagate the term and an associated sense of honor-bound obligation.

And I read over this article I noted that I used "them" and "they" as opposed to awkward "he or She" as Gender Neutral terms. There must be a way around this. Please help by commenting.

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